My 11 year old daughter asked me for a Facebook account, because ALL of her friends have one already and she is the only lame-o that doesn't. She also reminded me they all have cell phones, their own rooms, boyfriends, trust funds, and ponies.
Okay, maybe I am exaggerating on the ponies. But they all have cell phones and Facebooks.
"No, you cannot have a Facebook page. We discussed this, and we will not discuss it until you are 12. If you get a Facebook page, you will feel obligated to make me your 'friend', and I do not know if you are ready to be my Facebook friend yet. It is a huge commitment that takes a thick skin and....."
"You said I couldnt have a CELL phone until I was 12. You never mentioned a Facebook. You said Myspace."
"Okay, as parent here, the contract specifically states that I reserve the right to change my mind at any given time for the rest of your life. Which, by the way I blessed you with. You are welcome."
I do not know if I like kids having Facebook pages. I am 'friends' with several 'kids' on my pages because they are my daughters friends who, for whatever reason, like me and also because I am heavily involved in her colorguard stuff. Whenever these 'kids' send me a friend request, I always let their parents know first before accepting it because I do not want to be that weirdo adult with 50 'kids' on her friends list.
Here are my main problems with kids on Facebook:
1. Constant status updates over nothing: You know what I mean - "eating a sandwich, then getting dressed, then watching some tv" and then 5 minutes later "I want some Taco Bell" and then 2 minutes later "eating taco bell". "Getting in the shower...." is my least favorite one I see. Really? I relate this to calling every one of my friends and saying "Okay, I am getting in the shower...". WHY do you want everyone to know you are in the shower? Do you want them to visualize you in the shower, or are you making sure they all know you bathe 10 times a day? Do they panic if you do not reply to a chat request right away so you are letting them know, or WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THIS?? I do now want my daughter announcing to the world she is in the shower. Naked.
2. Constant teenage angst and drama: I have a teenager here. I deal with the angst and drama all the time. To log on and see more angst and drama is annoying. "so and so told so and so that I am a bitch and a slut". "I never get to do anything and my family hates me". "I hate you". "My stupid parents wont let me have this or that or blah blah blah". Have you considered for a second you cause most of the angst and drama by posting your angst and drama? Moreover, I hate the 'fishing for sympathy' posts too, which also occur by the same poster every two minutes; "Noone cares about me - FML and everyone in it, he didnt call," I thought the whole EMO thing was over with. By the way, he didnt call because he can read all your angst and drama on Facebook.
3. The hypocritical posts: I get teenagers and kids act like they know everything. What annoys me is when they make fun of other people for doing something stupid, then they turn around and post something stupid and get mad when we correct them, make fun of said post, etc etc etc. 'Think before you speak' also applies to 'Think before you type'.
4. The PICTURES. Some of the pics these kids post are ASTONISHING. Barely there outfits and 20 pics of you and your friends in the bathroom making duck faces in the damn mirror is downright stupid.
I tell my youngest this, and she proceeds to go through my Facebook page and comment on how a lot of my ADULT friends post stupid shit all the time too. Here is the difference:
WE ARE ADULTS AND AS BREADWINNERS TO YOUR EXISTANCE WE CAN POST WHATEVER THE HELL WE WANT TO.
Here are also some differences:
1. We NEVER post we are in the shower, about to shower, got out of the shower, etc etc etc unless a followup is present: "Getting a shower, then off to do the 50 billion things my minion children require of me because they think I can do it all."
2. Constant adult angst and drama: we post this to help each other through the struggle. We post our angst and drama so that we can get some sympathy from another parent or adult who shares our trauma everyday, and can possibly solve our dilemma with a pitcher of beer. You post YOUR angst and drama to whine, bitch and moan and inevitably create more angst and drama.
3. Hypocritical posts? I do not see too many adults make these. What I DO see is someone who thinks they are smarter than everyone else making a stupid comment, and like YOUR hypocritical posts, every other adult is still there to make fun of them in return for said stupid comment.
4. The pictures: I will admit to taking a pic of myself in the bathroom. I was making fun of you beforehand when I did it. And we are usually intoxicated when this occurs which explains OUR stupidity - what is your excuse?
I have never been one of these parents that feels the need to give my child something simply because everyone else has one, and never will be. I am holding true to my no Facebook rule, because I spend too much time watching too many kids post their entire lives online at too young of an age, when I grew up in a 'keep your thoughts in a private journal for noone ever to see' mindset. Even as adults we have accepted sharing everything with complete stragers online, but when our children do it so willingly it scares the hell out of me.
Even in my journal I never wrote "going to go take a shower...", but if everyone wants to know when I am bathing, I will be sure to call you and let you know.
What's Facebook's minimum age? I know it gets violated all the time, but if she's below it, you can always say you're a law-abiding family.
ReplyDelete"2. Constant teenage angst and drama: I have a teenager here. I deal with the angst and drama all the time. To log on and see more angst and drama is annoying. 'so and so told so and so that I am a bitch and a slut'."
That relates to one big reason to keep young kids off social networks: cyberbullying. All the ways they haze you at school can follow you home via the Internet now.
I completely agree. What is more annoying is the fact they open themselves up to it by continually posting what happened at school online. Then it turns ito a "I saw what you said on Facebook.." event at school. I have enough problems dealing with bullying at school, let alone bullying on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, or anything else.
ReplyDeleteMy oldest had a Myspace in 6th grade, with the explicit instructions that I have her password at all times and would log on whenever I felt like it to moderate what was going on on her page. If the password got changed, the page would be deleted. I only had to step in once and tell another kid to cut out the bullshit she was posting - but things are just so out of control these days with it all that I refuse to allow my younger ones to have one. Why put them in that position to begin with?