There can't be a tornado - I have dishes in the sink.

Living in Ohio pretty much your whole life, you become accustomed to tornadoes and sirens and severe thunderstorms. Luckily in the area we are in, we are in a 'valley'- so more often than not the tornado will skirt us by and stay in the heavens as opposed to touching down to destroy our lives. They still scare the hell out of me though, as my husband and I both can recall the Xenia tornado of 1974. I may have only been about to turn 3, but it is one of the earliest memories I have - being shuttled to the basement in a frantic rush for survival and being scared to death that my dad was not at home.

Obviously we made it through, but it is because of that I have a certain level of preparedness that has escalated into pure obsession lately thanks to the news broadcasts of thousands of people who have lost everything in a matter of seconds. I do not take it lightly, and although my husband and children yesterday were astounded at my OCD taking a very paranoid form, they understood.

For the umpteenth day in a row, we were watching the news for information regarding a storm headed our way. This storm had a different angle; it was taking a dangerous turn for the worse so I started my 'mom panic' - you know, the panic that you have as a parent but have to retain some semblance of sanity and calm so that your kids do not freak the hell out. When that happens, then you have to deal with mom panic AND kid panic, and it is inevitable that someone is going to get yelled at.

I tell my kids that IF we should have to run to the bathroom to huddle in the tub, it is best to be ready now. My daughter grabs her lovey; a stuffed elephant that will probably walk her down the aisle at her wedding. My son, in full ADD mode, grabs the weather radio. Although I am partially happy at their picks, I tell them to get their shoes on.

"Mom, we can't outRUN the tornado."

"We are not going to outrun the tornado - but when we are possibly digging ourselves out of the rubble around us, do you want shoes on your feet, or do you want to walk around barefoot afterwards?"

They put shoes on.

I then explain why I am doing the things I am doing; I am putting the asthma medications and extra cell phone batteries and charger in my purse, along with a packet of papers I keep ready to go at any given moment containing birth certificates, social security cards, marriage certificate and license, copies of shot records and insurance information.

My oldest seems puzzled. I explain to her that if something is to happen, and we lose everything, all the information we need to rebuild our lives is now in my purse. You go to the bank and need money and do not have ID, they will refer you to the BMV to get ID. You can't get ID because you do not have a copy of your social security card. They refer you to the BMV to get picture ID. See the vicious cycle here? It is why I not only keep copies here, but in a safe deposit box at the bank as well in case of fire.

We are ready to go, and thankfully we only get pounded with some hail and some heavy rain and wind. The kids go out to pick up the palm size pieces of ice that just fell from the sky while I put things back in their safe place for the next round. I begin wondering if there was damage done to my car due to hail which is at the repair shop, complaining that my lawn chair cushions are all over the neighborhood, and that yet again the grass isnt going to get mowed because it is too wet.

It is then, for whatever reason, I realize the house is a mess, and dishes are in the sink, cereal is left out, there is some spilled soda on the counter and laundry left to fold on the couch. "Thank God a tornado didn't come - there are dishes in the sink - I would have been embarrassed had the roof been blown off and the news saw our house looking like this..."

I am sure it came out as a way for me to be thankful that I am not one of the thousands of people in Missouri or Alabama or Illinois or Kansas or....you get the point. I take for granted that I woke up with a roof over my head when so many woke up to search yet again for a loved one. I panicked that my wedding ring was not on my finger when someone is panicking because she cannot find her husband. I insisted my children put shoes on their feet when someone else is simply thankful their child can walk amongst the rubble that was a couple days ago a life similar to my own.

A tornado blows through my house everyday, in the form of three children and a husband I would be lost without, and I will thank every day it does.

My heart goes out to all those with and without shoes on their feet right now.

Im going to the bathroom and then taking a shower and other posts that lead to not allowing the 11 year old to have a Facebook.

My 11 year old daughter asked me for a Facebook account, because ALL of her friends have one already and she is the only lame-o that doesn't. She also reminded me they all have cell phones, their own rooms, boyfriends, trust funds, and ponies.

Okay, maybe I am exaggerating on the ponies. But they all have cell phones and Facebooks.

"No, you cannot have a Facebook page. We discussed this, and we will not discuss it until you are 12. If you get a Facebook page, you will feel obligated to make me your 'friend', and I do not know if you are ready to be my Facebook friend yet. It is a huge commitment that takes a thick skin and....."

"You said I couldnt have a CELL phone until I was 12. You never mentioned a Facebook. You said Myspace."

"Okay, as parent here, the contract specifically states that I reserve the right to change my mind at any given time for the rest of your life. Which, by the way I blessed you with. You are welcome."

I do not know if I like kids having Facebook pages. I am 'friends' with several 'kids' on my pages because they are my daughters friends who, for whatever reason, like me and also because I am heavily involved in her colorguard stuff. Whenever these 'kids' send me a friend request, I always let their parents know first before accepting it because I do not want to be that weirdo adult with 50 'kids' on her friends list.

Here are my main problems with kids on Facebook:

1. Constant status updates over nothing: You know what I mean - "eating a sandwich, then getting dressed, then watching some tv" and then 5 minutes later "I want some Taco Bell" and then 2 minutes later "eating taco bell". "Getting in the shower...." is my least favorite one I see. Really? I relate this to calling every one of my friends and saying "Okay, I am getting in the shower...". WHY do you want everyone to know you are in the shower? Do you want them to visualize you in the shower, or are you making sure they all know you bathe 10 times a day? Do they panic if you do not reply to a chat request right away so you are letting them know, or WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THIS?? I do now want my daughter announcing to the world she is in the shower. Naked.

2. Constant teenage angst and drama: I have a teenager here. I deal with the angst and drama all the time. To log on and see more angst and drama is annoying. "so and so told so and so that I am a bitch and a slut". "I never get to do anything and my family hates me". "I hate you". "My stupid parents wont let me have this or that or blah blah blah". Have you considered for a second you cause most of the angst and drama by posting your angst and drama? Moreover, I hate the 'fishing for sympathy' posts too, which also occur by the same poster every two minutes; "Noone cares about me - FML and everyone in it, he didnt call," I thought the whole EMO thing was over with. By the way, he didnt call because he can read all your angst and drama on Facebook.

3. The hypocritical posts: I get teenagers and kids act like they know everything. What annoys me is when they make fun of other people for doing something stupid, then they turn around and post something stupid and get mad when we correct them, make fun of said post, etc etc etc. 'Think before you speak' also applies to 'Think before you type'.

4. The PICTURES. Some of the pics these kids post are ASTONISHING. Barely there outfits and 20 pics of you and your friends in the bathroom making duck faces in the damn mirror is downright stupid.

I tell my youngest this, and she proceeds to go through my Facebook page and comment on how a lot of my ADULT friends post stupid shit all the time too. Here is the difference:

WE ARE ADULTS AND AS BREADWINNERS TO YOUR EXISTANCE WE CAN POST WHATEVER THE HELL WE WANT TO.

Here are also some differences:

1. We NEVER post we are in the shower, about to shower, got out of the shower, etc etc etc unless a followup is present: "Getting a shower, then off to do the 50 billion things my minion children require of me because they think I can do it all."

2. Constant adult angst and drama: we post this to help each other through the struggle. We post our angst and drama so that we can get some sympathy from another parent or adult who shares our trauma everyday, and can possibly solve our dilemma with a pitcher of beer. You post YOUR angst and drama to whine, bitch and moan and inevitably create more angst and drama.

3. Hypocritical posts? I do not see too many adults make these. What I DO see is someone who thinks they are smarter than everyone else making a stupid comment, and like YOUR hypocritical posts, every other adult is still there to make fun of them in return for said stupid comment.

4. The pictures: I will admit to taking a pic of myself in the bathroom. I was making fun of you beforehand when I did it. And we are usually intoxicated when this occurs which explains OUR stupidity - what is your excuse?

I have never been one of these parents that feels the need to give my child something simply because everyone else has one, and never will be. I am holding true to my no Facebook rule, because I spend too much time watching too many kids post their entire lives online at too young of an age, when I grew up in a 'keep your thoughts in a private journal for noone ever to see' mindset. Even as adults we have accepted sharing everything with complete stragers online, but when our children do it so willingly it scares the hell out of me.

Even in my journal I never wrote "going to go take a shower...", but if everyone wants to know when I am bathing, I will be sure to call you and let you know.